We work well together. We have done for years. But – and I’m sorry to say this – you’ve changed. And I can wholeheartedly say that it’s you, not me.
I remember the days when I’d wheel a tiny newborn through your store, with Little L marvelling at your twinkling lights and I enjoying the delicious calm that settled. And of course when I realised you sold clothes – well, that was a special day.
That memorable day when I discovered online ordering. Being able to find the second cheapest of everything was a godsend for our budget.
But then you changed.
No sooner had you lulled me into a false sense of security with your ‘click and collect’ service, you moved the goalposts. Despite two years, two years of devoted service completing weekly surveys on your Mumdex panel, you went behind my back and changed everything.
Three times I selected ‘1 kg of bananas, 68p’. Three different shopping loads. And each time, what did I get, Asda? What did you give me, even though you’d promised me a bunch of tasty yellow fruit? One. Sodding. Banana. Each frickin’ time.
But, you know, I thought I’d persevere. I thought I’d try and work on our relationship. I shrugged off substitutions. I dutifully gave you hours of my life ordering online. And then, the final insult.
Asda, you took away my price filtering options.
The one thing that was holding us together, you tore apart.
I can see why you did it. Money. That’s all you care about really, isn’t it? Not our bond. Not our relationship. Bloody money. ‘Oh no, forget our best comparison feature, we’ll make it hard for people to find the cheapest product and our Price Beating service will be a breeze. We’ll rake it in!’. Well Asda, now I know. You’ve shown your true colours.
I’m leaving you, Asda. I’ve found someone else.