photoblog – Awakey.com

Two Wheeler

Amy Hansford — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:28:53 +0000

For anyone that didn’t believe me when I said there were Segway-mounted security guards in Milton Keynes shopping centre…

Admittedly, it seems to be their First Aid unit rather than general security, but can you imagine the chase when a thug steals a scooter from the toy shop?

All change

Amy Hansford — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:49:56 +0000

You may notice that ye olde blog looks a little different. I thought it was time for a little update and change of colour, plus changing to a theme that gives me a little more breathing space on the blog side of the panel compared to the last one. You like?

According to Google Analytics, someone came to my website last month using possibly the most amusing phrase ever as a search term. “how to touch a girls butt without her finding out while she is awaket”. Brilliant. Certainly tickled me. The answer is here for you kiddo: don’t. You’ll get the most amazing slap if you do.

And finally, I did say that I would make a hat to go with the washing-up themed pantomime dame dress below. That I did. Using baubles hotglued to a base and kept on with elastic, it’s meant to look like washing up bubbles. Unfortunately, given the rigorous nature of the dance routine involved, the hat had to be retired to the dressing room. Mind you, it still looked bloody good up to that point!

Knock Knock

Amy Hansford — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:36:40 +0000

I work in one of the oldest parts of the council buildings in Bedford. There are photos (and paintings) of old Mayors lining the corridor walls and you can’t step without hearing creaky floorboard. So you’ll understand why, when in an empty room, without hearing any movement outside of said room, when* I heard the knocking coming from the corner, I became a little skittish.

Following the speed of the beat of Flowers In The Window by Travis (sorry, it’s the only thing I could liken to the metronome), I heard;
“knock-knock-knock…knock knock …knock-knock-knock.” Yes, the Morse code for SOS. Heard TWICE. Followed by sporadic knocks since. It’s been quiet for a few minutes now.

If this message is posted successfully on the internet, you’ll know I survived.

*Written at 2.45pm

The earth says hello!

Amy Hansford — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 13:44:55 +0000

It feels a little bit like Spring is actually here today. It’s odd – there’s a smell in the air of things growing.

To celebrate this, some teeny tiny daffodils have sprouted up in the window box outside the kitchen. They have a certain ‘Alice in Wonderland angst’ about them. I expect them to sniff me as I go past in the morning…

Never a day to miss-was

Amy Hansford — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:11:49 +0000

As many of you know, I am a big fan of silly and slapstick humour. I also treasure the old Saturday morning kids tv programmes, meaning I am still proud of my days on Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow and also explains why I am a moderator on the TiswasOnline forums.
As part of this, not only am I the Phantom Flan Flinger* at the Tiswas theme nights, but on occasion the moderators all catch up for a bevvy round the corner from the now derelict ATV Centre where Tiswas was originally filmed. Yesterday’s was my first meetup with some of the mods, and also doubley special as surprise guests were in attendance. The original Phantom Flan Flinger, Benny Mills, and his daughter Karen who played the baby Flan Flinger were absolutely lovely. While the boys all got a pie from the Phantom at the end of the day, I got a cuddle which suits me just fine – technically, in flan flinging terms, he’s my grandad.
So today’s somewhat long winded photo of the day reveals the Flan Flinger’s identity. While he attacks Matt.

*Now you know my secret identity, you will have to be killed. The ninjas are on the way.