RSS Feed
  1. Top 10 musicals: Hedwig and the Angry Inch

    September 24, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    Continuing on my top 10 musicals, here’s the next on the list.

    Hedwig and the Angry Inch (1998)

    At the height of my Rocky Horror whirlwind, it was announced that a film was coming out of a musical, Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I remember the first time I saw it – I wept in the cinema at the beauty of it, the sadness, the need to find one’s other half. It’s not a film I watch religiously, but one I go to when I need to be a little self indulgent. It’s my Thelma & Louise, my Beaches. My favourite song from it is “Origin of Love”. Schloppy title, I know. It takes from Plato’s Symposium the theory that once there were three beings, one made up of … well, just watch the video below.

    Omitting the final verse and using only the lyrics and music, I once taught a class of 9-10 year olds this song as part of a music project when our theme was the Greeks. It was the most amazing assembly and the kids loved the idea of it too, just in a much simpler, more innocent way. I’m lucky now that I’ve finally found my other half, but I like to think that just by watching this it’ll give others hope that they will find their’s.


  2. Top 10 musicals: Rocky Horror

    September 23, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    You’ve got to love a fad, and Facebook (there’s that name again!) is full of them. Last month it was a charitable homage to the Bucket Of Water Song, this month it’s all about posting your top 10 musicals. Here’s my list, in no order whatsoever.  I’ll be posting the reasons why over the next fortnight.

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show
    Hedwig and the Angry Inch
    Little Shop of Horrors
    Gypsy
    Bugsy Malone
    Hairspray
    Spamalot
    Wicked
    The Producers
    Anything Goes

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

    I was eight when I pulled a sickie and Mum had to take me shopping. I was allowed to choose a VHS to entertain me for the day. I chose this – the red lips on the black background jumped out at me. My mum happily bought me the 15 certificate film (fair play Mum) and I watched a funny film where lots of people danced, chased each other, a pretty sparkly girl tap danced and everyone fell into a pool at the end. Fast forward a decade and you’d find me at uni with a twisted ankle, running through my old VHS tapes and watching this for only the second time or so. And seeing so much more. This led to attending a theme night at a local pub, then onto travelling to London every Friday night to catch Charming Underclothes perform a shadowcast to it at the Prince Charles Cinema. I found an outlet for my mischiefness. Costumes, callbacks and company. I learned every movement, every nuance, every soundbite. I learned to sew. I founded my own shadowcast, Less Vulnerable. I performed in England, Scotland, NI, NYC, conventions, screenings, charity events. I even went to Richard O’Brien’s birthday party.

    (c) Nikki Cross

    Less Vulnerable as we were in 2004

    And then it and everything I’d known collapsed underneath me. I walked away. It’s only in recent years that I’ve been able to go back and watch it and enjoy it. I still want to be Columbia. I still want to shadowcast, I’m just too sleepy for midnight shows now I’m older. But there’s still a little sparkle in me.


  3. “Didn’t you see it? I put it on my Facebook?”

    August 29, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    No. It must have got lost amongst the timeline posts from 350+ other people. I get this a lot.

    I have way too many friends on Facebook. My timeline has become a confused mess of passing moments from past friendships. I have at least 200 people on there with whom I never speak, converse, comment. I’ll probably never see them again, or have cause to bother them. Yet I can’t let go. It seems mean, crushing to ‘unfriend’ someone. But call it ‘unfollow’ and there – I can cope with that. Words are oddly powerful.

    As my sister said, “leave the past behind, don’t stretch your neck looking for a future that is hidden, love a bit of now and where you are now.” 

    So can I do it? Can I accept that I don’t really need to see photos of the children of the person I used to sit next to in Geography? The person that works for Disney that added me that one time? Can I make my timeline something I want to read, rather than a black hole in to which I’m pulled in a never ending cycle? Facebook has become the Hotel California – I feel like I can never leave. But I can try and whittle down the number of guests at least, and refocus its purpose.

    Time to have a think.


  4. Time flies and Facebook sucks

    August 26, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    It’s going too quickly to catch up.

    We have friends that we want to see, and not enough time to see them. And we find ourselves with a spare afternoon, and it seems rude to bother anyone, when really it’s not actually any trouble at all. As long as they’re not busy either, obviously.

    Here’s our current catch up list. It’s here so that I don’t forget, above anything else.

    Johnno and Fossy (3yo’s insistance, who are we to stand in her way)
    The Jaggers (we have clothes for W and we just damned well miss them)
    The Ramseys (we have seen their daughter once and that’s appalling)
    Leanne and Ben (I need my Waller hug dose)

    And we have others, so many others, and I just can’t think of them. No time.

    Facebook is a huge drain of time for me. I removed it from my phone and iPad – a brilliant idea as it means I’m not absolutely glued to my phone any more, mentally or physically. Heck, I even forget it when I go out sometimes. Which is nice actually; a bit like a ball on a chain you didn’t realise you had. But I still have the internet on my laptop, so therefore I still have Facebook. And it’s dreadful. The minute I get downstairs in the morning, the voyeurism takes over and I’m online.

    Wiping my Facebook account is not an option – I need it for my business, plus it keeps me in contact with friends and family. But I need to do something – it’s getting ridiculous. I go to close my laptop and my fingers act independently of my brain, automatically clicking the url bar, pressing ‘f’, the url magically appearing, and pressing ‘enter’ in sheer milliseconds. Before I know it, I’m caught scrolling the feed again. I finish, I go to close my laptop. And repeat.

    Tips for calming the addiction welcome.


  5. AFF Review: Hoburne Naish, Hampshire

    July 7, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    I’ve always said that when you have kids, a holiday is just a case of “same stuff, different place”. In fact, holidays are abolished entirely when you have a toddler. You get a break from household chores and less toys to placate your little monster with. Could Hoburne Naish Holiday Park really give me and the family some well needed time off? As it turns out – yes!

    Becton Lodge living roomWe stayed in a Becton 3 bedroom lodge, with ample room for a family including a huge living space, very comfy sofas and very well presented kitchen. While the little one rearranged all the cushions, I was pleased to see more spacious sleeping quarters – en-suite on the master bedroom, tons of storage everywhere and OH MY WORD so many buttons. Buttons for the shower, for the lights, for the slightly higher lights, for the heating, for the windows, for everything. I also had a nosy around the showhomes to see what caravan accommodation was like. Again, spacious, bright and would be a lovely place to spend a week.

    The grounds are very well kept – no litter, looks great, lots of space. (I’m big on space – can you tell?) Indoors there’s the standard ents space, bar, restaurant, arcade gallery, soft play area and indoor pool. Pools – plural! There is a standard pool plus a separate low water level fun pool for little ones with splash area and squirting octopus installations. The on site shop is great value – an inflatable ring for only £1.15, making it less painful when it was instantly shunned by the 3 year old.

    playOutdoors, families can take advantage of being right on the beach, Adventure Golf (VERY reasonable at £1/player), tennis courts, football areas and a heated outdoor pool. Plus an extensive play area for children, with a separate area for toddlers. This appeared very well kept, bright and colourful but most importantly – safe. One thing that Hoburne Naish has really nailed is keeping kids safe. Specifically, there is ONE door leading to the outside areas (only accessible via the club house), ONE entrance to the play area and ONE entrance to the gated toddler area. Our daughter was able to run around having the time of her life without us chasing her – we just knew she was safe. Kiddie wristbands are available too if your little one is prone to wandering.

    Everywhere is clean and tidy with welcoming staff on reception and the doors. The restaurant is a bit pricy – paying £11 for a branded pizza which you can buy in the supermarket for £3.50 seems cheeky – but remember that you are on holiday and are paying for the privilege of someone else doing the prep and washing up and it’s quite acceptable. Mind you, I was hugely impressed with the children’s menu. Through practice, our toddler can expertly clear a plate designed to feed a 10 year old, such is the way with child menus. However, Hoburne Naish offers a Tommy’s Tots menu for littluns alongside a Sammy Squad menu for older children. Brilliant!

    coastAs well as all the options available on site, Hoburne Naish is a great base for exploring the local attractions and there are lots to choose from, including farms, woodlands, reptile experiences and of course THAT pink pig’s world within Paulton’s Park. As we were only staying for a two nighter, the on site facilities were plenty for our little one’s needs.

    With our daughter only being three, she would generally hit The Wall around 8pm at which point we would return to our lovely lodge for the bedtime routine. Of course, a family has both children and adults, so what about some time for us? Admittedly, we did have a hot tub in our lodge, so with the little one safely in the land of nod, we did get a bit of us time too in the evenings.

    Our favourite bits: 

    • Having so much space in the lodge meant that, even on a grey rainy day indoors, no-one would tread on anyone’s toes. Very important if you’re planning a fortnight stint!
    • The Ents team were terrific fun in the evenings, getting all the kids involved and raising lots of laughs.
    • No pressure – no packed timetables to keep to, no overwhelming experiences, just the right amount of activities available for a relaxing time away.
    • Our 3 year old would have quite happily spent two days entertaining herself between the soft play and the outside play area. Can we bring those home please?
    • The hot tub. Because HOT TUB.


    What would have made it even more fab:

    • If we had taken our little Ikea step. We’ve all got one at home, haven’t we? There were no steps available on site at the time of our stay, meaning it was tricky for our toddler to be independent in the accommodation or loos. A step would have been brilliant.
    • If our accommodation had curtains instead of blinds. We had beautiful blinds (the interior décor was absolutely superb) but I was always on edge with so many cords dangling down in our little one’s sleeping quarters.
    • If we’d known more before we’d gone – website information is limited. There was a fancy dress night on the Sunday which we knew nothing about until the evening beforehand.

    We would definitely look at returning to Hoburne Naish for a longer stay – it’s not too late to book your summer break so check them out and let us know what you think!

    Hoburne Naish was reviewed as part of an assessment for Approved Family Friendly, raising standards for families when going on holiday or on a day out. See their website for information about more family friendly businesses who are going the extra mile to make your holiday even better.


  6. Eight things about electric cars

    April 13, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    After several years in my trusty Skoda Yeti, we have traded it in for a newer model. Not just new – an entirely different kettle of fish. We’ve got a Nissan Leaf. An electric car. Now, while I like my gadgets, I rarely understand them. People happily spout off EV (Electric Vehicle) stats at me and I look at them, smile and nod.

    With this in mind, I thought it a good idea to blog about our new car in a way that I can understand it, blow everyone else.

    1. We have a 100% electric vehicle*

    Our Yeti was a diesel car. You can get hybrid cars where they run a bit on electric AND a bit on diesel or unleaded petrol. Our Nissan Leaf is completely electric, so everything runs off of a battery. Or several. Not sure. Either way, I don’t have to put any petrol in it; I just charge it up when I need to (see below).

    Silent Ninja Car

    It looks like a real car and everything.

    2. It is really easy to charge up

    Of an evening, I pop the little hood on the front (see the blue Nissan badge?) and plug in the charger, which is just a cable which comes off the charging point in the garage. It takes about 4 hours to fully charge the battery. It’s on a timer so it’ll only charge when it’s cheap, i.e. between 11pm-7am as we’re on that electricity tariff. (We can charge it whenever we want, but we are frugal.)
    If we’re on the run and need a fast recharge we can use a Rapid Charger – there’s loads of these about; at Ikea, Nissan garages and along the motorways in the service station car parks. These charge up your battery to about 80% in about half an hour.
    There are more chargers around town (the things in car parks that aren’t ticket machines) but you have to pay for those and I can’t be bothered.

    3. It is much much cheaper for us to run

    Diesel vs Electricity
    I was spending around £140/month on diesel. We are now spending £15 ish a month on electricity instead. So that’s an average of £1680/year vs £180/year. So, you know. Duh.

    Road tax
    There is none. It is free. For now. They’ll get wise eventually and start charging, but for now it’s free, which is about £250 cheaper than before.

    Charging away from home
    At the moment (again), I pay £10 a year for each of the two charging networks that I am likely to use. Ecotricity do the motorway rapid chargers and Source East do the ones in London. This annual fee covers my rapid charging usage. So that’s an extra cost of £20 a year. Well BOO HOO.

    Both liquid fuel vehicles and electric vehicles need services and MOTs so we’ll keep those costs on. As a basic view, we’re looking at a rough saving of £1730. PER YEAR. You heard me.

    4. It even makes its own electricity on the go

    Every time you brake in the Nissan Leaf, or even just take your foot off the accelerator to slow down, it uses the friction off the fact you’re still moving to create energy (Regenerative Braking). This goes towards powering cool car things like the music player, camera, air con etc. Also, Doctor Who “regenerates”, which makes this even cooler.

    DOCTOR-WHO-PETER-CAPALDI

    “You see that car there? That’s a damned good car, that is.”

    5. It is well nice

    I thought we would be dropping down with a big jolt from the luxury of the Skoda Yeti. Not so. I have heated seats, loads of space, a damned fine looking car, leather interior… It’s just really really nice, okay?
    It’s also really bloody nippy. Having owned a Renault Clio, Skodas, a BMW 1 class and a SmartCar Roadster, this is by far the quickest, nippiest car I have ever driven. 0-30mph in WOAH. 0-70mph in Well That’s Fine Then. You weren’t expecting it to be fast, were you?

    6. It gets us as far as we need to go

    This is the bit you were wondering about, right?
    On a full battery, we have a range of 86 miles. In the real world, this ends up being about 60 miles. But you know what? That’s all we need. I live and work in MK; I really don’t need any more than that, and mostly I only need to recharge every other night.
    For longer journeys we stop off every now and again for a quick rapid charge at the services. Yes, it’s a bit of a longer journey and yes, it means we do a bit of planning before we leave. But it means we get regular breaks, we can stretch our legs and it makes us slow our lives down a little, which is shockingly overlooked these days.
    Don’t get me wrong – we still have our Skoda Octavia for lonnnnng journeys. But in the main, we’ll use our Leaf where we can.

    7. It is full of geek cool stuff

    I have cameras for when I reverse. One looks like I have a tiny helicopter overhead, broadcasting my position to me.
    It has satnav and heated seats etc (most new cars do these days).
    Press a button and it’ll show you a map of the nearest charging points (filterable), your current driving range, even how you’re ranking within the UK/Europe/the World in terms of eco-ness.
    I can put the heating on in the car from my phone. Bring it, snow.
    The better for the environment you drive (i.e. the less you ram it), the more little trees you can make on your dashboard. I am obsessed with growing trees.
    It makes as much noise as an electric lightbulb, i.e. none. It is silent. As such, to stop people getting run over (because they don’t bother looking**) it plays out a noise that sounds like Marty McFly’s hoverboard, which makes this car insanely cool.

    Don't worry about the warning lights - I'd got the range down to 3 miles!

    Four trees. Count them. FOUR.

    8. You should totally get one.

    If you are looking at changing your car in the next few years, do look into Electric Vehicles. They are only going to get better, the rapid charging points are more and more available and it makes so much sense financially let alone environmentally. We paid an additional £1,500 on top of the trade in for our Yeti to get this, a second hand top spec Tekna model Nissan Leaf with only 1890 miles on it, and we will make that back in the first year easily.

    If you have any questions, do go ahead and ask them in the comments. If anyone is going to be able to explain it in an easy way, it’s me – I don’t understand stuff any more complex than that!

    * I don’t care if you have found some percentage of it which is not electric. I really don’t give a jot. Go away.
    ** This statement does not include people who are blind or partially sighted because Obviously.


  7. Pink vs Blue

    February 20, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    There’s been plenty of noise made lately over the colouring of toys. How, traditionally, toys and activities aimed at girls are pink, and those aimed at boys are blue. How dolls are pictured being played with by girls in pretty pink dresses complete with lace and bows. How cars are pictured being played with by boys in t-shirts and jeans.

    pinkblue

    As a result, several retailers have decided (finally, and sensibly) to categorise toys by type, not gender. More manufacturers are creating gender neutral toys in a range of colours, not just the pink and blue palettes.

    Well, I finally have something I want to say on the situation.

    I couldn’t give a fig what colour my daughter’s toys are.

    Seriously. Not one fig is given.

    She has a pink table and chairs, a green and yellow Happyland set, a brown pirate ship, a red football and a red/blue/green/yellow set of Megablocks. She has a yellow and green bedroom. She has a pink pram for her dolls. She has Disney Princess puzzles and jungle ones. She has a pink monster onesie and a grey knight outfit.

    If she is lucky enough to be able to choose a toy, I don’t care what colour it is. If she is fortunate enough to be given a gift, I couldn’t give two hoots what colour it is, or who is on the packaging for it.

    The only thing I really give two bits about in terms of my daughter playing with toys is this: Is anyone going to die? Does this toy promote killing people or things? As long as the answer to both of those is ‘no’, I’m a happy camper. And so is she.

    So if my daughter appears one day pushing a pink baby in a pink pram whilst wearing pink shoes and a pink coat, please don’t be scared. It’s because she actually wants to. Equally, if she happens to be wearing jeans, a Star Wars t-shirt and is playing football with a blue ball, please don’t fear that I’m pushing her one way or another. She’s a free thinker and chooses her toys herself, for the most part.

    It’s just a colour.


  8. I don’t want to go swimming.

    January 24, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    I just don’t. I don’t want to be cold,  or to be paranoid about getting a wedgie, or have to deal with wet hair, or lugging bags in and out, or trying to balance getting a towel out of the locker whilst not soaking everything else in the process. I don’t want to have to play Jenga in order to keep dry things off of a wet floor in a restrictive changing cubicle.

    nirvanaBut Little L does. From her point of view, it’s lovely fun splashing around, feeling the water swish around her and navigating around the kiddie pool.

    I don’t know how all the perfect parents manage it. They stroll in, look like models from a holiday home magazine as they throw their child in the air and stroll out again WITH PERFECT HAIR.

    I look around for another parent in a similar situation.
    Case #1: The mum expertly managing triplets under 1. Bad example. Ignore her.
    Case #2: The dad swimming an entire length of the pool underwater in order to burst out in front of his thrilled son with an amazing impression of an octopus. Forget that.
    Case #3: The parent ignoring their child desperately struggling in the water in favour of having a chat with her mate. Oh God. I don’t want to be that person.

    And the realisation: I’m the only person standing between my daughter loving swimming and her becoming that struggling unconfident swimmer. It’s not too late.

    I’m going to have to go swimming, aren’t I?


  9. New year, new you

    January 17, 2014 by Amy Hansford

    Well that’s a load of twoddle. I’m the same Amy that I ever was, just with a little more experience, a longer relationship and a slightly older daughter. The good news is that I’m pretty happy with all that!

    I Googled 'Twoddle

    I Googled ‘Twoddle”. This came up. You’re welcome.

    So what’s coming up in the world of Awakey for 2014?

    Pyjama Drama will be growing (hopefully) throughout the year to the point where I may be a millionaire.*
    I’ll be organising a massive birthday party for our daughter**
    I’ll be appearing as Jan in Dreams ‘n’ Wishes production of Grease over the summer. Shout if you want tickets.
    We’ll be going to a super geek convention and even running some massively geeky Pyjama Drama workshops.
    We will be going on holiday! We will be remaining local, but yay for opportunities to get out for the day.
    And much, much more! ***

    What are your great plans for the year?

    *Factually, a lie.
    ** May actually be “cake and a playground”
    *** A bit more.


  10. Don’t blink – you are a parent

    December 12, 2013 by Amy Hansford

    "Look Mummy, I have a beard!"

    “Look Mummy, I have a beard!”

    Little L is on house arrest as she woke up yesterday with Chickenpox. Cabin Fever is beginning to set in.

    Little L: Can I do painting, Mummy?
    Me: No honey.
    Little L: Can I do painting, Mummy?
    Me: No honey, because we’d have to scrub all the paint off your arms afterwards and that’ll make you feel itchy and scratchy. Painting next week when you are better.
    Little L: Can I, Mummy?
    Me: Honey, it might make your arms hurt after. No, sweetie. Play with your fairy set.

    I seemingly blinked for a second. During this time, Little L has coloured in most of her arms and hands with felt tip pen and just started on her chin. Excellent.

    I think we all learned a valuable lesson here today. As Eeh Bah Mum put it so well earlier this week, children have an agenda. Consider your answers to questions carefully. Your answers will be assimilated by said infants and will be used against you in some way.